Saturday, October 31, 2009

The Conundrum of Female Orgasm

Over half of American women have never experienced an orgasm. Female orgasm still remains one of the most mysterious subjects in the study of female sexual response. Some health officials still question whether it even exists.
The whole subject of female orgasm sometimes leaves women confused and frustrated, while leaving others purring with anticipation. You all have seen the images of the happily sexed or hyper-sexual woman in the media who is dripping with sexiness who anxiously awaits and ecstatically enjoys her every sexual encounter. While this image is prevalent in media, some women think orgasm is a myth or an urban legend. I’ve even heard women say “sex is way overrated.” Other women try to convince the naysayers that sexual ecstasy and orgasm are real and they too can be fulfilled. I mean why not? Why can’t every woman feel sexy, sweet, confident and sexual fulfilled?

There are any numbers of reasons why women do not have orgasm. Many women have had traumatic experiences, suffer with health issues and some need an attitude makeover. One of the major reasons is the lack of femininity in women today. Because of life’s experiences and societal pressures, women have lost their natural ability to be kind. Unhealthy relationships and trying to climb the corporate ladder can cause women to form a hard shell. Women are not realizing that you catch bees with honey, not vinegar.

While men have their part in enjoyable sexual experiences and healthy communication, women have to awaken to their part as well. Women have to take charge of their sexual pleasure. The first thing they can do is adjust their attitude and the way they think about sex.

What are your thoughts about sex?
1. Do you think it is solely the man’s job to make you feel good?
2. Do you come to bed already ready to get it over with?
3. Do you feel that sex is for the pleasure of your partner only?
4. Sex is overrated.
5. Sex is a sin
6. If I do it he will like me, or if I don’t he might be angry.

Some detrimental attitudes:
1. All men are dogs.
2. I will just get hurt.
3. I don’t need a man.
4. I can just use toys.
5. Men are just good for one thing.
6. I can trust him as far as I can see him.
7. He can’t do anything for me that I can’t do for myself.

While these are just a few thoughts that allow for a women’s femininity to go out the window, there are many more. Harboring these thoughts leads to a resentful attitude. They make a women feel bitter and victimized. There is nothing more unattractive than a bitter and snappy woman. If the majority of your thoughts about sex and your partners are negative, your actions will also be negative. Your general disposition will be negative as well. Your thoughts are energy and that negative energy will be all over you, for all to feel. These thoughts cause blockages in your mind; body and spirit that make it extremely difficult to enjoy anything, especially sex and the gift of orgasm. You then develop a defensive attitude, and become irritable, disgusted, mean and jealous. You become closed towards life, and the ones who really want to love you.

An important thing for women to realize is that being sweet or having the ability to compromise or even being vulnerable is not weakness or being docile, but actually is the core of their feminine power. You are able to attract anything you want or decide the outcome of a situation by the way you act. This includes your ability to experience orgasm. By allowing yourself to do things like be vulnerable, you open yourself to healing and receiving love and affection. This is more attractive than any physical attribute. Opening yourself will open your world of sexual pleasure.

Men want to please, protect and take care of you. They want to know that you are pleased and enjoy your experiences with them. What women have to do is just let them. You do not always have to be in control or on watch. It is okay to let go, close your eyes be loved and just be.

Yes, you need to learn how to do this in order to have an orgasm and enjoyable sexual experiences. Our body, minds, and spirit are connected so in order to heal one area it is best to look at the others. “I just want to have great sex,” you say? Well what you really are saying is, “I want to have a great life. I want someone to honor and love me. I want to know how to honor and love myself. I want to live orgasmically. I want to be happy. I need to learn how to be more sensual. I need to be healthy. I don’t want to be angry or miserable all of the time. I want to let go of the pain from so and so, I want to learn to let go. If you deal with these things your sex life or lack thereof; nor your ability to experience orgasm will be such a conundrum.

So all this talk about great sex and mind blowing orgasm is really not such a great mystery or myth. We all can truly enjoy our experiences with some self – reflection, self – love, conscious efforts and clearing. Here are 10 quick ways to get started.

• Smile more
• Take up dance
• Find something beautiful about yourself every day.
• Say please and thank you
• Find something beautiful about your partner or someone you know every day and tell them.
• Go on a complaining fast.
• Take a sensual bath and take time to moisturize every inch of your body slowly, paying attention to the sensation only.
• Where only the clothes that make you feel like a sexy goddess.
• Eat more fruits and veggies every day.
• Except compliments

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